This week has been very much un-fun. Kman came home from school Monday with a fever. A fever that finally broke today. At first, I saw it as a great opportunity to sell him on the idea of homeschooling & I may have even been a bit too pushy about it. :p We did "school" on Tuesday. It took 45 minutes tops. What kids wouldn't be ecstatic about the possibility of spending just 45 minutes doing a full day of school work? Well, mine. ha. He was very upset about missing school because it was library day. So, a few hours into the day (and long after we'd finished that pesky school work) I decided he wasn't really that sick, so running into the library to get new books would be okay. The books we already had were due, so we had to drop them off anyway, so why not. We went in & got the books he was really wanting & we were back home reading them before lunch time. I made sure to draw his attention to how awesome it would be if he weren't sick because at this point we'd have all afternoon to go PLAY! Yay. He wasn't really buying it though. We made a robot, we painted, we read books, we looked up random things on the internet... it was really what a homeschool day would be for us (except that there was no play time). Of course by Tuesday night he was super sickly - lethargic, whiny, achy, and just blah.
Wednesday I skipped pushing any kind of work on him because neither one of us got much sleep on Tuesday night. We did go to the doctor because I have no idea how much school he is allowed to miss without a note, and I was concerned about his cough & general ick. Of course it was a waste of money, it's a viral "flu-like" something-or-other. We spent most of the day laying around watching tv & trying to rest. The boys & I were all quite bored, but Kman was sick enough that there was no effort to be put into doing more than laying around.
Today (Thursday) Kman started right up with being ornery & mean to his brother & I woke up not feeling so great. Not a good combo. At all. I decided there was NO way I could homeschool him. He's too dang stubborn & often mean, it would be a bad idea to take it on, especially while dealing with a 2 year old that suddenly feels the need to be VERY 2. I decided I was done. No way. Not gonna humor the idea of homeschooling anymore. When I finally had had enough of the boys fighting, of Kman being intentionally mean to me, enough of being stuck in the house, enough of feeling so confined, I packed us all in the car. We couldn't go anywhere since Kman is possibly contagious, but we could drive around & get out of the house!
Then, as we drove down the road (after I may or may not have totally lost it, and before I may or may not have felt ready to go drop them off at anyone else's house), it happened...
He said "so, if I were in homeschool, I could..." and he listed several great things. Then, he said "no matter what, I am not going to school tomorrow!".
Wait, what?
Well, of course that made me stop & rethink my rethinking! Are you confused yet? Yeah, me too!
I realize I don't have to make a decision about this RIGHT NOW, or even in 5 days... or 5 months. I realize I can decide what's right at any time, but will I ever decide?! As soon as I figure it out, something changes my mind. Sheesh. I am an indecisive person, but this is ridiculous even for me! Granted, I'm a mom & we stress so much about doing right by our kids, and I'm so afraid of making the wrong choice, but even then it's ridiculous that I can't just decide something!
All that said... who is tired of the ping pong game I'm playing here? Should I shut up now? Yeah, probably so...
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