I'm no good at keeping secrets & I've got too many in my head right now... So... Here we go...
I think I want to run a half marathon. When I got into this running thing, I had NO intentions - I mean ZERO - of wanting to run a half or a full marathon (no, a full one still isn't even on my radar - ick!), and I still haven't even run a 5K at an actual race. In fact, I've never run anything, not one step, at an actual race. Yet, here I am, admitting that I think I want to attempt a half. Yes, I certainly have lost my mind. I'm gonna go ahead and blame it on my amazing running partner, Denya. She's just too good & I really do want to be like her. (If only!) She ran her first AND second half in the same week this month. AND, she's already training for her first full marathon She's totally my idol. Therefore, it's her fault.
The thing is, well, there are several things actually:
1) I really don't think I can do it. I realize I just started running again after nursing a broken vertebra for 6.5 weeks & I shouldn't be able to just get out there & gooooo. Still, 2 miles kicked my butt the other day. 13.1?! Are you kidding me? I'm not sure I have that much in me at this point in my running abilities.
2) Part of what I like about running is running with someone. I realize there are lots of folks out there during a race, but I'd still feel/be alone & I don't do alone-ness well. I don't need someone talking to me the whole 13.1 miles, but I need someone there to push me, I just don't think I can do it alone. Yet, I wouldn't want to be in a pace group 'cause I really would want to just go as fast or slow as I want with each mile. I don't want to feel "stuck" with a certain pace when I need to change it up, yet I wouldn't want to leave the group. Yes, I know - grow up. I'm admitting my faults here, okay? So, hush.
3) I really don't think I can do it. In fact, I'm pretty sure I can't.
4) I really don't think I can do it. Which pisses me off & kinda makes me want to do it more. I enjoy proving people wrong, even myself.
Obviously, my biggest obstacle is a mental one. Well, a mental one fueled by a physical inability. 13.1 miles? No way. Well, maybe. No. Yes? Eh, I just don't know. The thing about me is, I'm not willing to set out to RUN a half & end up walking any of it. ANY of it. It would make the whole process pointless to me 'cause I'm a freak like that.
So, if I told you I want to run a half & I want to run it in, oh, say, September... what would you say to me?