I keep doing what I do because who else would do it?! Seriously?
The number of you who reach out to me every time I post something makes me hurt. -not for you (although, I get it & sometimes I do hurt for you!), but for the fact that you don't feel you can be the voice you want to be, or for the fact that you feel lost in this crazy ADHD tailspin, or for the fact that you don't really have anyone to talk to - "nobody else GETS it". For whatever reason it is that you reach out to me (or even those of you who don't reach out, but so badly want to, you're just too afraid/unsure of what you need/too tired/etc/etc), it really matters to me that you do. I am so happy that I have family & friends that support me, my family, & my life. To be honest though, when I started this journey there were plenty of people who didn't support me. Those people have either been put aside (I really don't have time for that nonsense!), or they've come around. That's really the only options I offer. I am who I am & my family is what my family is. We struggle to survive some days & others we laugh at the shock on faces of people around us who have no clue what we're about. It wasn't easy getting to this point though, and like I said, I am lucky enough to have great support.
You have all made me realize that what I have to say does matter to someone though, so maybe I"ll try a little harder to make time to share with you. This is a wonderful escape for me, I do love to write (though I'm not always as eloquent as I pretend to be in my head), and even more, I love to offer hope & support to others in this crazy journey. It's not just families affected by ADHD either, there's a whole pot of alphabet soup out there & so many of those combos don't have enough voices. I encourage each of you to reach out to someone who can help you. You might be surprised by how many others are feeling the same things you are & have no clue there's another family dealing with similar issues. Parents/families of special needs kids are more common than you may think, and most of us are feeling just as overwhelmed & often lonely as you are.
I am a Christian, and I don't mean to isolate you if you are not, but it's very much a part of who I am & very much a part of where my strength comes from. Actually, it's often the ONLY place my strength comes from. In the most difficult of moments, I can lean on the fact that God is my son's Father & I should love him as much as He does. I am human, so I will never be able to love quite as perfectly & definitely not as unconditionally, but I sure come as close as I can!! God has made my son who he is for a reason, and He has loaned him to me for yet another reason. Some days I question those reasons quite honestly, and some days I literally cry out "WHY ME?", but I know it is all for a greater purpose than I can understand at this time. I am very weak, but just as God told Paul, His power shows up best in weak people. Wow, I must have super powers then 'cause... well, I'm weak.
All that aside, I just want each of you to know I am thinking of you, and your children, and these days are hard - so hard - but they will get better. The rewards we will each earn from the struggles of these children is so much more than we can imagine, and that's the truth whether you believe in God or not. Your children WILL one day see all that you have done for them & they will one day thank you in their own way. Do not give up on these beautiful children, or yourselves.
I'll be back soon to share about my latest meeting at school & how very overwhelming life is at this moment. Right now I just don't have it in me. I don't want to talk about it. I just wanted you to all know I appreciate you entrusting me with your own worries, fears, and joys & I really do care.
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